poof

earlier, i was thinking of something that would be great to write about. but then i forgot it. then i realized how much of an issue this is with me. poof. gone. that’s what happens to my thoughts, important or trivial. i’m sure there are self-help methods or assisted methods out there that help to retrain or reshape the brain. maybe i’m one of those people who doesn’t think they need assistance or help. perhaps it’s just my frustration over the convolution of the way those sort of books or resources are written/taught/presented.
writing things down doesn’t help consistently/reliably. i’d have to write things down for the things i write down. and that is an exponent that would drive me mad before i would accomplish anything: lists for my lists for my lists for my lists...

i try to keep paper and pencil, and the like, around me so that i can grab these thoughts before they dissipate into the ridiculous-and-air*. but even that practice is not reliable/consistent. i have to remember to have the paper, the implement. i am not so scatterbrained or absent-minded as i make it seem, i just notice that i’m not as consistent/reliable as my ideal for myself holds, and i also have a tendency to forget the good that outweighs the perceived “bad” things. so, at times, i can make things sound a lot more dire than they actually are.

what was that thing that i wanted to write about though? it is still on my brain. It was good. it occurred to me while watching “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.” how can i forget what it is, being as substantial or important as i feel it was? there is that knee-jerk wisdom “well it must not have been that important.” which conjures the thought: “how does being able to remember something and importance correlate?”

perhaps i’ll remember it if i go watch sunshine again, or perhaps i’ll recall it at a later time.

*a tape recorder or recording device you say? i’ve recorded ideas but then i have to remember to go back and transcribe them and put them in order. this may work initially but eventually i fall off the horse and then the recordings turn into a nonsense-habit, the cassettes or electronic files simply piling up into compost oblivion.